So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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