New low: just hacked my moms facebook
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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