Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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