Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
