ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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