THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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