my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize