how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Best friends brother. Beat that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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