I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
