we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
