thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
