I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize