just come out here and I will go home with you...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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