what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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