party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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