I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
