Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
