Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
When are your genitals available?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
