Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
