so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Randomize
