Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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