Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
BRING THE BAGELS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
