is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
