that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize