i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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