sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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