I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
