I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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