i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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