I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
