she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize