we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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