I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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