are you still at the devil's house?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we're so committed to being not committed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
