you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
