I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
