Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
