nut hugger
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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