Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Come on in and take your pants off
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