She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
