..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
