yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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