meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
