Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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