first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
