Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
