so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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