I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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