Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize