Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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