He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And then he peed in my hair
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