Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
