He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
