I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
