This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
