Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
