we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
