She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
