So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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