David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
