see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
