The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
