Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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