You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
